Searching.

They turned their backs and left.
















Ironically, I let them.

Goodbye

Brother John James, pilot-to-be :D

'Cause its all about you Jesus (:

I'm gonna trust God on this. Just gonna work my arse off and trust that He will bring me to new heights! My goal this month? To be spirit filled, just like how Ps Caleb described. To be full of God, instead of full of myself.

Mend this hollow feeling that's eating me inside out.

It wasn't until I stuffed in an extra 400 calories

after dinner till it came to my senses that I was experiencing PMS.

I so hardly have PMS that I've long forgotten how it felt like to want to makan so very badly. Oh what an appetite!

And now thanks to that-time-of-month, I'm having this slightly twisted [dash] numb sensation. Trust me when I say I hardly ever feel this way. My time usually comes quick and ends within a short period of time without much hassle of aches. Usually. I guess this is just one of those months.

If you notice, I changed my "about me" column again, just didn't feel right, didn't feel like me and isn't right. The thing is, too often had I felt like I'm missing something, something significant about my life, about me that I can't quite put my finger on. It's that something that seems to be right in front of me, waving frantically at me, but I turn a blind eye and move on, all the time.

Bloody flurry oreo Mc flurry! Sometimes I just want to shake myself and give myself a smack.





















Thank you Nurul for giving me these Hari Raya treats! (: I had it with coffee and it was really really good. I especially like the heart shape cookie, not because of the shape, but the strong flavor of groundnuts in it!

:)

I got this from flickr, as usual xP

To all my juniors out there sitting for PMR, read this! :)

Don't worry, don't be panic-stricken and the most important, don't cheat. Just do what you can and trust God. Whether or not you feel you're ready, you'll still have to sit for the exam. So take my advice, give your best shot this 2 weeks and accept the results later as the effort you put in. I'll pray hard for all of you every single day! (:

Especially Sabby'neh, you're like a sister to me what with the similar surname and part of the Nehs and my Interact junior. All the best and have fun answering!


Love,
the so-called senior,
Yi En :)

I love it when there's someone beside me,

close by me, reassuring me that all is well.




















Somehow daddy is able to do so, to provide me warmth and unfailing love.


Didn't get much sleep last night thanks to *toot* who can't seem to sleep even until 4am and had to wake me up at 2am in the morning by calling. Poor guy. But all the same, I'm happy you thought of me, for I need to talk too. (;


So I missed my morning swim, woke up at 7.30 and it was already a little too late. Guess I'll just have to date the treadmill later, unless mom or dad is willing to drive me over for a dip. See how sad it is to not have a license, to not have car and to have a birth date that's 8 days before SPM.


All these talk about college among the form 5s had got me thinking. What sort of person I want to be one fine day, when exams are no longer a priority, where mistakes are pretty much forbidden and where the pressure of responsibility is going to weigh heavier upon my fragile mentality.

Thank you Shauny (that's what I used to call him, haha) for your advices and suggestions that broaden my mindset of the aspects I'm suppose to focus on when it comes to choosing colleges and courses. Oh and I've been raining you with never-ending questions of the pathways I thought I'd take.

He's been so patient with me, answering my messages. Usually when I thought of a certain entry, I'd sms him first and he'd reply. (: Oh thank you!


Hmm, everyone seem to know what and where life is going to lead them. The road about to be taken set right under their noses, whereas I'm hardly even prepared for SPM! Oh bladie. Bosh with it! I need to discover my strongest talent, the one that can bring me fourth further than all the others. The lifestyle I'll enjoy and the plans God has in store for me.

Sir ShaunSean Patrick once told us to make an appointment with our reflection, the mirror. To identify the mission in life that had been set for us, only waiting to be discovered. And I'm still searching, that person I long to be known of, the kind of respect I long to receive.

However till then, SPM seems to be my priority.






















I like this photo for it's rather plain. Just me, Yi En.
:D

So I cried, big deal!

Oh don't you just love reading?

Indeed I do, which is why I've been reading one novel after another this week. Whether it's an old (I mean really ancient ones given by my cousins who used to read 'em during their teens) storybook with it's cover plastered layers after layers or a new one that beholds a scent of printed papers hardly touched by readers who merely flipped 'em.

Anyway, I'm way off topic. Yes, I did cried. And it's been super duper long since I last took a piece of tissue and dabbed it onto my eyes and sniffed. But oh boy, it was the greatest thing to do, to cry.

I don't like crying, oh I hate it. Even when I do, I usually suck it all in and bit the bottom of my lip till I'm calmed. I especially hate it when I sob in mom's presence or dad's or granddad or grandmom or any of my aunts and uncles. Actually most of my family members, except sis. Ahh well, she's so nosy she knows practically all my welfare. lol

Yea well, I like to look tough. Who doesn't?

Today Pastor Anna was praying for me and His presence was so overwhelming that I cried. Not that kind of soft sniffles, but that kind where fat salty tears blurify (I made up this word xP) one's vision. So yea, I cried.


:')


Okay, enough about that. I apologize, really really sorry, for I've shut myself out from most of you good friends these past few days. Partly 'cause I like it and also partly 'cause the net died again. Streamyx failed. Again. In fact, for the third time this month! Dang it.

I think I overdo it this time. My sarcastic way of communicating that is. Nigel is not replying. Oh gosh. Well, he said, "I'm an idiot" and I replied, "Yes you are!". That wasn't very friendly was it? Oh dear.

Shall stop typing now, lots of videos I want to keep up with since a week of net-less.


BIRTHDAYS.

Ju Yi :)
Deidre :)
Swer Lie :)
Joanne Foong :)




He's still not replying!

Happy Hari Raya yo! :D

Lat year during this awesome Malay/Muslim festival, I was in Penang, annoying TJ and seeing Serena, reading bio, eating more than enough, shopping with my mom and aunt, etc.

This year however, I'm going to Malacca with my grandparents for grandpa wants to meet his old mate. Oh but you know me, I'm there for one thing and one thing only xD -the food! After half a day in Malacca, we'll zoom to Batu Pahat, to visit my cousins and everyone there!

And we have to stay over :'( I want my bed!


Happy Hari Raya yo!
Especially to all my Malay/Muslim friends :)
Oh Nurul Nurul! Please leave a little of those tidbits for us! PLEASE!























Well anyway.






















TJ went and spoiled his car. Again! Well perhaps it isn't that new anymore la. The plan was to take his car for a ride, a test drive you call it. Grandpa use to be a mechanic and his confident that this not-too-old car is functioning well. After all, TJ makes a fuss about anything! Boy I hope he don't read this.























So, that's what we did yesterday. Test drive to Mid Valley. (Sis and I wanted to head for MPH, we love reading you see)






















Guess what happened. The car broke down!

And so we had to wait for dad to pick us up with a tow truck. Oooh! And the best part is, we weren't irritated or anything, actually we were kind of happy. I was singing praise to the Lord! Damn high wey.

Before I leave that old Mercedes-Benz with a sympathetic stare, I took everything valuable out of his car. And aha! I found his Dior gayish sun glass!

And I wore it :D
I wore it TJ! Ha! Don't worry la, I'm your cousin sis, what can happen to your precious sun glass other than a few scratches? Hmm? :)


Life is good. Life is awesome. I 'm gonna witness TJ + Serena 's marriage soon! The man who did not propose, I hope my future fiance don't do that -or if I'll ever want a fiance. xP



Was awesome talking to you this morning, early morning Justin. Hahaha! My sis's mobile burned!

So it's Friday.

This was a looooooooong time ago, but that few hours in Pavilion is still fresh in the mist of my memories. After all sumunn is one of the very few people that answers my sarcasm and "my way of speech" (: lol

Darn it. It's been so long since I last logged into MSN and it's forcing me to install some sort of new version, ahh! Reluctantly I am. Okay, I'm still waiting. Urgh! It's taking forever.

My mummy's parents are coming over. In fact, I believe dad is fetching them from the airport as I type, at this very second, probably talking aloud in the car with grandpa, yea that's probably what's happening. I love them, I do. But I prefer to embrace the silence of an empty house with my sister for another week. There goes my plans of lonesomeness. (My sister and I don't talk)

Ms Chin just called, she's coming over at 2.30pm. My piano teacher always take advantage of the holidays. Ha! My sister is probably rushing over her homework, lazy! Yea, we got into another fight again. Frankly I like arguing with her, 'cause no matter who's right, I always win. She's older now, no more going to mummy and crying her heart out.

I know right, it's so pointless, I'm just babbling, just filling that empty hole I keep experiencing.

It's not like I can speak freely, what with stalker and all. Oh well, at least stalker learnt her lesson. Or not, haha, yea Jojo, this human just want attention, she will never learn. I know who you are, we all do, grow up. Oh how my fingers itch to type your name. Sorry, I'm not a very forgiving person, even if I do, I can't forget. But oh well, she's my Interact junior anyway. You don't even know what we had to go through so that you're at this position, in the board. Don't make me take it away from you.

Exactly 2 months from today I'll be sitting for SPM. So, you know what, I think I'll just pick up those chemistry papers and start grilling my brain.


Justin, beware, I shall call soon! xP

I love you and you know it!

The junior who ALWAYS make me look like a midget beside her! xD

Yes, she's very adorable isn't she?

Tan and tall and athletic, not to mention smart too (:

Too often I've visited her during recess for company and food. Oh glorious food! These people can never die of hunger. They eat during lessons, they eat during break, they eat eat eat! And look at her, still THAT thin and tall and lean. Am super jealous!

She's very talented too and streetwise. She always surprise me, the things she know and all. Be yourself and continue to be you for (obviously) we just love you the way you are.

Oh Jesse the NEH!

You have the ability to make me feel comfortable around you and the other 2 tallies and the 3 cabbages in front. Mind you, most people can't. I'm gonna miss you, gonna miss the musketeers and Mr. Man and the Tans. *HUGS*

Happy sixteenth year! :D

Ahh, love you to the max!

*special request from sis, she says happy birthday too :)*